Conundrum

<p>So last week I spent about four hours on the phone with my dad. I suppose it was good, but it brought up some issues for me.<br>
I'm aware I'm not a favoured child. I'd be stupid to think I was. There are a lot of double standards and it gets to me. For example, my oldest brother used money that wasn't exactly his to use. He should have been setting it aside for taxes since his employer wasn't withholding them. Of course he eventually needed to use that money, so now he owes a crap ton of back taxes. My dad's reaction was, well he shouldn't have spent it, but he needed the money! What was he supposed to do?! Now I was in a somewhat similar situation and his response was pretty much how dare you!<br>
My oldest brother is not divorced, yet he's on a dating site. I don't personally care, but I mentioned it to my dad and he said oh well how else is he supposed to get to know girls? I was with a separated man. I didn't exactly get the same reaction...<br>
My parents drained all of their resources funding my brother's first divorce. If I had married Tim, I would eventually have gotten a divorce. If I had been in the situation where I couldn't afford to pay for the litigation involved, my dad would have said something along the lines of, "well I'm sorry, thats really difficult." And not only that, but they spent all of my college fund on his divorce, so I'm once again just shunted aside and screwed over. And then when I apply for student loans, my parents will be horrified that I'm taking out a loan. I mean geez what do they expect? Sure they would have paid for the actual school, but their calculations included room and board...at home. Its not the same at all, so unless I want to juggle a full-time job with school, which really isn't an ideal situation since I know I need to be focusing all my energy on school, I need extra money. Or now, I just need money, since they paid for the mistakes of my brother.
Its all so frustrating for me. It does make me feel unloved, which I already knew I was, and not even a second-class child. So much for the stereotype of the spoiled youngest child...