My Holiday Plans...

So I'm feeling really down in the dumps right now. My best friend, Boo Boo, or to the rest of you, Stephanie Mach, texted me last night to tell me that her dad died. He was fairly young, and the last time I saw him, full of life. He was pretty unique, but also pretty awesome. I liked him ever since I met him around 10 years ago. He always liked me too. The last time I saw him, he was very insistent that I was part of their family. I really felt that way too. He had a heart attack and died pretty much instantly. Boo Boo's younger brother was the one who found him. I still can't believe that he's gone. I'm going to be leaving Christmas evening to catch a flight down there. Boo Boo is the sister that I feel I never had. She and I are best friends, I'm closer to her than any other female. I had such a hard time when she told me. I just wanted to run and hold her and be with her and help her. I hated the distance that we're at. I wish I could have just had it like the old days where she was only a fifteen minute car trip away. Her mom is pretty much broken down with grief it sounds like. This was completely unexpected. I still am having a hard time accepting this is true. This was a guy that to me seemed like a big teddy bear. I had no idea, unlike Boo Boo's other friends, that he could be the least bit frightening. He was telling me stuff that he'd done to intimidate her other friends, and I looked at him like a foreign person. It had never entered my head that he could intimidate. I guess I should have assumed. I mean he was a big guy with a big bushy gray beard. He loved guns. He was a gun fanatic. I just never got it that he could be intimidating. So I looked at him and said how weird that was, since he never had seemed like that to me. He told me that he did that intentionally. He had no reason to try to scare me off. He said he had watched me with Boo Boo and was not concerned about me. He saw that we were good together. He knew that I wasn't in it to take advantage of Steph, like her other "friends." He told me how I was part of the family. I felt so wonderful hearing that. I wish that I had been able to come back during the summer like he wanted me to and go shooting with him. He was going to let me shoot his gorgeous sniper rifle, Martyr Maker. I wish I had been able to. Looking back it seems kinda odd to me some of the things that he said. He told me that when he died he wanted me to have one of his guns. It seemed just such a random out of the blue thing to say. It makes me almost wonder if he sort of knew that he would be going soon. I just don't know. I'm so glad I'll be able to be with them for this. I know Boo Boo is going to need me. I'm going to need her too. I haven't been this upset over a death in quite awhile. I'm hoping I'll be able to see whichever of you I can this Christmas. I feel kinda bad ditching on Christmas, but I know that I need to go to West Virginia.

This has sooo not been my Winter...

Yeah so I'm posting lying down in my bed, fairly well confined by general weakness and fever. I have the flu. Hopefully this is the 24 hour flu that everyone I know had. I have absolutely no desire to feel like this for longer than one day. I'm puking and diarrhea-ridden. The whole upstairs smells like a lovely combo of the two. I'm just happy that my landlord is out of town, so he won't smell it. I feel like everything in my room is covered with one substance or another. I can't keep even the gatorade that I've been drinking, hoping to keep from feeling so dehydrated...it isn't working. You see they don't mention that it only works when it actually stays down -.- It feels like everywhere from my shoulders down is all achey and I can't get warm. So I can add this to the wonderful list of things that have gone wrong this Winter. First with a bunch of work crap and being threatened with fireation at work. Then Mono kicked in full-swing and I've been out of work for about a month trying to get well. Sadly I only keep getting sick! I had a wonderful sinus infection and some sort of quasi-flu thing. Now I've got an actual full-blown flu! Life just isn't going well. On the plus side, I am going to get health insurance with World Bank starting January, so that's good :-D Now I've updated, so I'm going to try to sleep...let's hope my body will tell me when I have to go to the bathroom this time...

So, I have an announcement!!!

I'M GOING BACK TO SCHOOL!!!!!!

That's right, everybody, I'm going to be edumacated again! I'm going to be going to MC, which is not my first choice of school, I really want to go to the University of Maryland. It actually is going to work out better, since Tim's taking a semester off of school and after that would be actually probably taking some courses at MC and living at home. It would probably be the best for both of us. I'm pretty excited, personally! I'm going to be taking Biology, Algebra, English and Psychology. It's pretty exciting. I'm frustrated with the financing stuff, because I need a co-signer for any private loan, but to get a Federal loan, I need to fill out the FAFSA. The problem with that is that I'm still considered a dependant on dad. I can't ever get them to help with the fill-out process. I need their financial records to fill out the stinkin form! I am also reluctant to tell them that I would be applying for a loan to cover my other expenses besides school, because I don't want them to know that. I'm worried that they would then withdraw the nice agreement of we'll pay everything except room and board. grr Plus I have to go to a stupid meeting about loans and stuff at MC. It just isn't fun to go to these things. I'm out of ideas. I can't get anyone to co-sign. Dad said he wouldn't do that, because he doesn't want the debt attatched to him, Shirley can't because she wants to get a house, and it doesn't look good for her to have it. Renee said that it wouldn't do any good for her to co-sign it, because they wouldn't like her because she has too much debt from student loans and credit cards and such. I hate feeling like I'm in a no-win situation...Ideas anyone?

Infectious Mononucleosis

Yeah, so here I am blogging again!!! That's twice in a 30 day period, aren't you so proud of me?? It's been a bit of a rough two weeks or so. Last Friday, I had an awful experience with my Mono. I was with Tim in Panera Bread, waiting for his mom to come pick us back up again, but I was pretty much face-down on the table. I couldn't move. Tim didn't understand what was happening, he just thought I was having a hard time getting moving after waking up, which I hadn't done, since I hadn't gone to sleep. Somehow I managed to drag myself out to the car and then just plopped. We got outside my house to have me change for work, but I kept telling them I couldn't go. I tried to explain that I couldn't move, but they didn't understand. Shirley, Tim's mom, started to lecture me about how ridiculous I was being and that acting like a little girl and just saying I can't go to work is just not helping. I started bawling my eyes out trying to explain that I just couldn't move. They still just didn't understand, and proceded to call Renee to get her to come get me to go. So Renee shows up and feels my forehead and says I'm burning up. I was hysterical saying how they wouldn't believe me and that they thought I was making it up. I just couldn't stop crying. Tim and Shirley were explaining that they didn't understand what was happening. They decided to take me back to Renee's house so I could get some help and lie down. By the time we got there, Vick and Bethel Willingham were there, because Renee was supposed to be watching Sophie for the evening while they went to the Caps game. Vick came out as Tim was trying to lift me out of the car. He had a really bad hold on me, so Vick ended up picking me up and putting me in Renee and Brian's bed. I still hadn't stopped crying the whole time. I eventually calmed down, and Vick ran out to the store, and bought me gatorade, which they gave me in a sippy cup. My temperature ended up being normal, but they bundled me in a down comfyter. Long story short, I haven't been to work in over 2 weeks. I got a doctor note on wednesday, saying that I have an infectious disease that causes extreme fatigue. It gets me out of work until at least wednesday, at which point I'm supposed to go in for a follow-up visit. We'll see what they determine. I'm not thinking that I'm going to be feeling any better by Wednesday. I can't ask Dad for more money, he said that loaning me money for my December rent (which must be repaid...with interest) was the last time they'd help; I would have to find "other options" I'd already borrowed money from Shirley and Renee. I'm guessing he wants me to become a hooker, stripper or as Renee thought up, I could work at Hooters!! Yes I think that would be a wonderful "other option" I mean my mother already thinks I'm a whore, I suppose it wouldn't make much difference, would it? So now I'm going to go to the Bishop to ask for help, something I really really don't want to do. I hate having to admit that I can't always make it on my own. So I guess that's my update for now. I just hope I don't get mono at least four times like Lindsey has...