Updates and other Happy News

So first order of business is my promotion at work!!! YAY! They're getting rid of the worthless office worker and replacing her with me! Basically they're going to phase me out of the dog walking part and have me in the office mainly. I'm starting my training today which is awesome! I get $10/hr while I'm training and then after that it sounds like I jump up to $12/hr! :-) so many reasons to enjoy this! I won't have to be driving all around as much. Therefore not as much money wasted on gas. I may still do some visits which is ok cuz its more money. And I really like the other people in the office and they like me! My friend Charlotte is the one behind this. She basically made sure I got the gig which is awesome of her :-) this brings me to my next bit of news!
Shirley finally bought a house! So beginning of may I move in to her old townhouse! I get it all to myself until the beginning of july when Charlotte moves in with me! Grand total of 7 animals. 5 cats 1 hamster and 1 guinea pig... Should be fun. We have everything worked out where things are going and how were going to divide things like communal stuff. Basically until the wedding (which has yet to even start planning...grr) Charlotte is going to be living with me. I'm so excited. So far life seems to be looking up!

Why?

So I'm fairly miserable today. Part of this is because I'm off my meds. I hav been for quite awhile and its awful. I'm sick of not feeling ok. I haven't been able to pay my rent myself for months. This great job I have hasn't been panning out well for me. I'm trying to find a new one. I want a salary so I won't be screwed over when things come up like being out of work for a whole week because of weather. I need to be able to pay my way in life but I haven't been able to at all. I've been driving over 100 miles a day with visits spread like 20 minutes at least apart. It isn't working out. I have to fill up my tank every other day. Its horrible. My last paycheck of $600 went this way. I took out like $240 for a car payment then I had to pay around $130 for past due amounts for my cell bill. Then there was like $50 I can't get refunded because neutrogena sucks and doesn't listen to me that I don't want their skincare regimen. The rest went to filling up my tank and paying for parking at a place I go. I bought fast food MAYBE twice. By yesterday when I got paid I just broke even. And by even I mean nothing in my account.I'd spent the last of the money on the stupid parking. So I got paid yesterday and I got about $480. Yay. I can spend that towards my rent, right? Wrong. Let's see how that plays out shall we? $330 went to more past due cell bill that I had to pay or I couldn't reconnect my cell phone. Then let's see, I also had to account for the almost 35 that hadn't been taken out yet for gas. So I can spend a bit of that on my rent, right? Nooooo because I need $20 for parking at least. More if they decide to turn that visit into a 30 minute one. Then I need enough money to account for having to fill up my stupid tank every other day. And no that is NOT an exagerration. Sadly. So I'm using all the money tim has and some of Shirley's. Nothing says hey you can trust me to rent your townhouse like borrowing money to pay for rent, right? The last thing she needs is another person that she has to support. I'm sick of being a burden on everyone. If I had the guts I'd kill myself, but I don't have the emotional ability to do that. That's sucky to realize that you feel that people would be better off without you around, but its how I feel. Pretty much completely despondent. I know I'm just really depressed. I need to get back on my meds. I need to find a new job. I want a government job. I want a salary and benefits. But the other crappy thing in my life is that I want to go to school. I can't. Even if dad paid for my books and tuition I can't afford to go to school. I still have bills and my rent to worry about that even if I had loans I wouldn't be able to make enough to survive. I just can't do anything I want. And that includes just making rent. Oh and paying people who want to sue me because I haven't paid my credit card bills. I can't afford to do that since rent and cell bills come first. I can't make those bills. I keep getting my cell turned off. They do it more constantly now. I keep telling them to just pay everything, but they won't do it! Its so obnoxious. I want it all to go away. I'm supposed to be moving into Shirley's townhouse. That's supposed to be great, but really how can I when I can't afford a rent that's $200 less? I've been looking for another job, but I haven't heard from anyone. At the point where you spend all your money basically on your job, the job isn't worth it at all. It sucks like crazy. I need to make this work, but I can't. But the jobs I've applied for are government and they take forever to get. I've applied to others but they don't seem to like that I won't work sundays. Seriously people? I give you EVERY other day of the week! What the hell do you people want from me? I really want to scream religious discrimination. But I'm not thinking that would work. I'm not sure what to do. I've cut back on everything. I'm really bummed that I can't even buy anything I just want.I used to spend too much. I'm the first to admit that, but really spending all my money on gas and parking? Not ok. I need a new place to work.

Anger and Frustration.

Soooo to put it mildly, this "bidding" on Grandma's things has gone just as badly as I thought it would. So much for optimism, my friends. I went against my better judgment and decided to be a part of this fiasco. I should have known better. I haven't had any adverse interaction with any of you guys, which is in line with what I expected. I just don't know what the point of my saying anything more is. I voice my opinion, but Peggy decides her own thing. I don't have children born or soon to be born for whom to claim things in proxy. I've had a couple bad days of this...ok since I started doing it. The night I decided to start looking through things, I started to bawl like a little girl. I finally ended up calling Tim so he could help me look, since I wasn't doing well on my own. Things went better. Then the next day magically things I really wanted were claimed as 10s and I knew I would never get them because I'm not important enough. I don't have a problem with people saying they might want things for their kids. Yes Bonnie Jean, I really like that green deer, but you can have it for your kid since that's what Peggy wants anyways. I would have said so myself that it was ok with me. I'm not out to grab everything away from everyone. I would just like to have some things for myself. Is this so much to ask that I get things I really want as long as I'm considerate to other people's feelings? I don't think so. But maybe I'm asking too much? I don't know why we can't settle these things amongst ourselves without interference? As long as there is no throat cutting or maiming, I'm good. I don't plan to be difficult and I know I'm the one people will be most concerned about. I am a little child after all. Which is obviously why we need a referee in the first place. Mean old Bri Bri might just haul off and start yelling at people! Because that's obviously just what I do. Never mind the fact that the last time that I yelled at either parent was before the family reunion because I wasn't going to be "allowed" to be at the super exclusive Hanton family events. I can pick and choose my battles now. Not everything is so urgent. It seems peggy will be dividing things up now. I don't anticipate actually getting the things I want. I've already given up things I wanted very much because I didn't feel like making a big deal. I'm very interested to see how things turn out from a masochistic view. This whole situation has been horrible. This morning I punched my bed so much I hurt my arm. I'm furious every time that I receive a notification that there is another comment. Almost every time it has been something to make me even more upset. I'm so done with this whole thing. peggy has done exactly what I expected her to do. Not in her favour at all. I am very tempted to call her up and yell and scream at her. I would love to. My stress levels would go back down, I think. But I know this wouldn't help me any. I wish I had the guts to beat her. But instead, I am backing down. I am NOT standing up for myself. I am letting her win because I have no choice. This isn't her family. She doesn't like them and they don't like her. I don't care if they are her in-laws. Martin will be my father-in-law, but I still don't like him, nor do I want anything to do with him. In-laws do not make a family. Perhaps I should assert myself, Charlotte keeps telling me that I should. What good would it do for me? It would merely reinforce the opinion that I try very hard and in vain to fight. I am not a child. I do not act like one. If I did then I would have told people off in the bidding. I didn't. I told Bethany, even after she decided that things I really wanted were her 10s that she could have them, even though I wanted them badly. It doesn't matter and this is what I have learned over and over again in my life. I do not matter. What I think and feel do not matter to the woman who, unfortunately for me, birthed me. I'm not angry at anyone who is likely to read this post...unless I'm being stalked in which case screw you. This is why I don't have contact with people. Why should I have contact with people that only want to control? I don't appreciate that. I'm done. I'm out. I don't matter. This is bullshit all of it.

News and Such...

So let's start off with something happy, shall we? The long-awaited time is upon us!!! Namely, Tim has finally decided on a date for our nuptials! Soooooo Set aside August 13, 2011 and start figuring out how to mosey your way down to Arizona for it!! I don't know where in AZ it will be yet, though I'm partial to Prescott...cuz I'm a dork. There is a place there called Van Gogh's Ear that would thrill me to death out of hilarity...but its an art gallery so I'm not seeing it happening there... Sooooo YAY!!!

So Boo Boo is coming up in May so that we can start the whole planning process, especially the whole dress thing :-D I already have some of the general planning things in my mind, but nothing is down on paper yet, except the start of a guest list. My friend Charlotte is all excited about helping to plan the wedding since I'm going to have two maids of honour. Boo Boo has been my sister for so long now and Charlotte is quite oddly enough my other sister. I have two twins! Its so funny because Charlotte is almost 27 (happy bday to her tomorrow!!) So in the whole planning thing, I called Dad and asked if he would give me away. He said, Oh wow! I have a question. Will mom be invited? I felt my heart break a little inside. I wanted to yell and tell him this isn't about HER!!! The whole event is about the fact that I found a guy who for once treats me well and doesn't use me and that I love and loves me back. Its about promising to love each other forever and all that mushy stuff.....not about the woman who abused me and constantly made me feel worthless. But no, instead of saying or doing any of that, I explained that I thought it would be fair to have her there, not as part of the party, but a guest only if they were paying. I explained that it would be my way of giving back to dad mainly IF they paid. I said that if they weren't then I would have no reason to put myself through the hell that it will be for me to have her even near me and in that case she would not be invited. I think its a very fair compromise. In fact I would be giving up more than they would be in that situation. I would be giving up my peace of mind and comfort...They only have to part with money lol. Dad said that if she weren't invited he may not come to my wedding and thus certainly not give me away, since he would be home consoling his wife. Now maybe I sound a bit well evil...but she certainly didn't need consoling every night that she beat me and told me how I was stupid, dumb and pretty much all around worthless....sooo what changed? did they up her dose of prozac and it suddenly made her feel something? ok that was mean of me, but I'm mad and hurt. Sue me. Basically, what I'm feeling is that this event is NOT about her and how SHE feels. I wasn't dangling the whole I'll let her come IF you pay up as a way to get them to pay. I think its fair that they do, since they paid for Bethany's wedding which was a lot more to-do than I want for mine... and it would be great since otherwise it will be a very tiny ceremony and that's about it...I prolly wouldn't be able to even get a nice princess dress... Neither Tim nor I are exactly rolling in the dough... So I'm crossing my fingers that Dad decides that this is a fair compromise on my part. Its brought up a lot of negative memories on my part. I hate that. I feel like if all that was important to her is just to be able to witness the event, then it shouldn't be an issue. If she wants to have an active part in the whole thing then it would show her true purpose...which wouldn't be just to witness her last child (and obviously favourite...cuz she's proven that lol) get married then it isn't a big deal that she isn't a part of it in an active way at all.

One of my biggest concerns is how she'll behave. Besides the obvious fear that she will get completely smashed on all the booze that will be pouring around (note the sarcasm) I dread having her go around to EVERYONE on Tim's side like she did at Andy's wedding. That's so awkward to me. I mean I know Tim's family but I don't feel like she needs to get to know them...though having a wedding where no one talks to the other side feels weird.....but must it be her?? she would have a blast with Tim's aunt and uncle because they would get along politically so very well :-D....(blech) I'm annoyed about the fact that she will schmooze it up with Charlotte. Charlotte's ears are all pierced and her tongue is pierced and she has a tongue ring and for the moment, purple hair. She's awesome in my mind and i love her ink and piercings esp since well it's going to come out eventually....I have 7 piercings now. Not like I could hide that once the wedding comes around since most of them are in my ears. I have my lobes pierced which isn't news. I also have my cartilage in both ears pierced once and both my tragi (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tragus_piercing) are done. Charlotte and I got those done together a few weeks ago. I also have my navel pierced. That was about three years ago. Boo Boo and I got those done together. I said that I watched hers....but I didn't she watched mine then the piercer made me leave lol.... I don't really flaunt it about, so its not like everyone knows. Bethany saw it by accident and was surprisingly not evil about it. She said something like oh didn't that hurt? and whether it got caught on my belt. (the answer is not really the piercing part, more the healing when it got tugged because yes it would get caught in my belt) All of my piercings are healing well, thanks for asking :-P Dad knows about them all and well isn't very impressed and is probably pretty disappointed. I suppose I would rather have that then not to get something that I want because I'm afraid to have people see. I am the person that I am. I don't want to hide it anymore. I like tattoos and I like piercings. Actually, for all I know Bethany could have mentioned my belly ring, so at least that wouldn't be a surprise...oh well. OH my point was that she's one of my two best friends (which is strange since I've known her for MAYBE 6 months...) and I know that mom will judge her and I mostly don't want her to have to deal with that crap. She knows about it, so that won't be a thing. But still....

Its like ten here, so I should stop my ranting, I suppose. Wish me luck and I really want all.....two of the people that will read this to be there!! and you know you could bring your spouses if you reeeeaaaallllly want.... :-D

Andy this would be a wonderful time for you to reunite with Brian Haun....I KNOW he would be soooo excited to see the guy who pulled so many pranks on him in high school!!! (he actually doesn't remember you or the pranks at all....prolly had too many to remember...) and Justin! you can have fun discussing Aspergers with Shirley! (that's Tim's mom) I'm sure it will be quite obvious to you that that is what dear Brian has....Life will be fun...

On a happy note, I will leave you guys with a shot of my cats! Jane is the orange one and Austen is the gray one...I loves them!!!




Oh...I also have very little hair on my head...

moving...

Yes my friends I am once again moving! It is all the fault of my babies. Yes Andy, I let the kitty cuteness blind me! Such is life... Last week I did an overnight for a very sadistic dog. I spent nearly a week with the beast. During this time, dear Tim was to watch my little ones. The problem was he didn't tend to their box quite as he should have. So when I get back it reeks. So I clean things up all hunky dory yay. Next day I find a note from my landlord informing me that things have stunk for the past week. I write him a note back telling him what had happened and that I had taken care of things so life would be back to normal then he writes a note back basically with a too bad they must go. So knowing there was no way I could give up my sweethearts, I started looking for places. Luckily, since I was given a week to find a place for the kitties, I found a place the same day, went to see it and agreed to rent. The down-side to this whole thing is that it is now a whopping 700 a month I must pay instead of 5. Of course it is a master bedroom and they let me have my kitties and its a lot bigger..........but STILL!!!!! Oh well. Life goes on. So by the end of this month I'm going to be in my new place.

On a less important note, I got my eyebrows waxed. Kinda fun actually and it didn't hurt as badly as I thought it would.

I'm going to pack now...

updates on life.

So I realize it has been quite awhile since I posted and updated on my life. I suppose it would be fair to say there have been quite a few things that have changed. I'm sure anyone reading this already knows I'm engaged, so that isn't really new or surprising is it? At the moment I'm snuggled up in my ex-coworker's bed surrounded by three very adorable kitties. I'm kitty watching while she's out of town for like a day and a half. Its been fun and very strange. One kitty known as just plain Q slept on top of me most of the night. I thought Charlotte was kidding about that... I've also learned to make sure Q isn't hiding in the bathroom as I go to use it or else I have the strange experience of her hopping up and sitting on my lap...very strange.
So I guess for starters I should mention I finally have a job. Its been a month and a half maybe? I work at a place called A Cat Clinic. The name pretty much says it all. Its a vet office that only has cats as patients. I've always said I wasn't a cat person, but I'm actually considering getting two kitties from the clinic. Basically their mommy had another cat and it terrorized the brother and sister. She seemed to originally want to give up the evil kitty but our dr said that she would have to put that one down since she couldn't feel good about giving it to another family. So instead she gave up the brother and sister the girl of which was apparently her "baby." This story resonated with me a bit since I tend to feel the unwanted member of the family...gee I wonder why... And the two cats are really so sweet and loving. They seem to like me too. The rub their cheeks all over my face which is a new experience for me, but I know its how they show they're comfortable with me...and marking me for theirs. I'm having to ask my landlord about them, which terrifies me. I barely had the nerve to ask him for my hamster ages ago. (Q is now standing with her face in mine on my chest.) I'm not afraid of my landlord, I'm just afraid he'll say no. I have it all worked out though. I would cover the floor with those plastic chair mats so that his floor wouldn't get wrecked. I'd have air freshener and such so the room wouldn't get stinky. And most of the furniture is mine in there and I'd pay some extra each month toward a pet deposit if he wanted me to! The jist of this is that I REALLY want these kitties. I want to take them in and make them happy and safe. Either way I hate where I work. Everything would be fine except for the office manager and her evil minion the head technician. They're petty mean-spirited and I just don't like them! They also don't like me. I remind them of charlotte who is my new friend. She's totally awesome! But they made life miserable and so she quit two weeks ago which made work infinitely more sad. She's working for a company that house sits watches animals walks doggies and the like which is what I'm going to be doing soon if I have my way. This brings me to my other bit of news. I have a car!!! Well actually tim and I have a car. The car is in his name but I'm mostly financing. He has better credit so it works. Its a little kia spectra, silver which isn't as cool of a colour as I would like, buts its a good car. Now how will I make use of this car you ask?? By getting my license of course! I'm going on the 13th to take my test. I feel pretty good about it I must say. I can parallel park in under a minute. 47 seconds to be exact. I'm rather excited. Charlottes going to be taking me in my car. Oh and no I haven't named the car. I simply call it my baby. As soon as I get my license, I can leave my job and go walk doggies!!! It apparently pays better and the hours are quite flexible and the best part? No uniform!! I can wear whatever I want!!! I'm quite excited. Charlotte goes barefoot! The two of us have decided that we must be twins, which makes triplets since that's how Boo Boo is. Of course Boo Boo will always be my sister, but its nice to feel like I have two best friends...one that's even what's that? Oh yeah! Close by to me!!! Gee there's a thunk! I miss Boo Boo a lot still though... I think Charlotte would like her. I've asked them both to be my maids of honour. I think it would be fitting.

At any rate, that's about all there is going on in my life now...oh yeah I like to watch kitty surgery. Surprised everyone? And I can eat my lunch after watching :-) tally ho my friends!

My Down's Syndrome Paper

Ok Justin, you asked for it, so here you go. And anyone else that cares to read...go for it

Would a world without children with Down’s syndrome be a good thing? Many would think a world where no one suffered from this would be a wonderful thing since there would be fewer people in the world suffering from a disorder. There are, however, many parents that think this would be a disaster. (Harmon 6) Whether from a cure or from abortions, many parents of children with Down’s syndrome shrink from this thought. (Harmon 6) To them, this would be a terrible thing for their children. How could this be? Many feel that this would lead to a world of intolerance towards the children that have Down’s syndrome. (Harmon 7) Others fear the lack of funding for programs aimed at helping these individuals survive through life. (Harmon 10) There is also a fear that by allowing women under thirty-five to be given the option of testing for Down’s syndrome, many of these women, who otherwise would have had the children, will get abortions. For many years, only women who were thirty-five and over were given the option for testing, since that is when the risk of having a child with Down’s Syndrome spikes drastically. (Wiki 12) However, since women who are younger have children at a faster rate, eighty percent of babies born with Down’s syndrome are born to mothers who are under thirty-five. (Wiki 12)

If scientists could somehow find a way to prevent Down’s syndrome from ever occurring, most people would celebrate the finding. It seems that some parents with children who have the extra twenty-first chromosome that causes Down’s syndrome will not be one of the joyous ones. They fear many unseen repercussions of the disappearance of Down’s syndrome. One parent, George F. Will, calls testing for Down’s syndrome, a “search and destroy mission” designed to eliminate all children being born with the disorder. (Harmon 25) Unlike what Mr. Will seems to think, many prospective parents do not have the resources or stamina they feel necessary to care for these children. (Harmon 13) If the world were perfect, every prospective parent of these children would be able to undertake the task of raising these special souls. The world, however, is not perfect. In my life, I met one such mother. She had two older children with mental problems, a crumbling marriage and a job that, at the time, she thought was keeping them from poverty. She became pregnant and instead of getting the all’s-clear sign from the amniocentesis, she found out that the daughter she was carrying had Down’s syndrome. Even though it tore her up inside, she knew she would not be able to take care of this child properly. She had an abortion.

This scenario is not unique. Does this seem to be the result of a “search and destroy mission,” the desire to eradicate all such people from the face of the earth? (Harmon 25) I think not. Every soul that is brought into this world is precious and children with Down’s syndrome are even more special, and the parents who raise these children deserve praise, but this does not mean the other side of the situation should be ignored. So many women do not have the resources or the situation to be able to care for these children; they may also believe that it is unfair to bring such children into this world. These women should not have the right to end their pregnancy denied to them.

Many parents of children with Down’s Syndrome oppose the testing of women under thirty-five.(Harmon 7) Testing these women would, of course, lower the chances that they would have the child. The current rate of abortions with Down’s syndrome babies is at ninety percent. (Harmon 4) These parents do not want these women to abort their pregnancy, even though many claim that they are “pro-choice.” (Harmon 16) Some such parents have gone to hospitals with their children, hoping to convince the doctors that they should have parents that receive the diagnosis of Down’s Syndrome in their child go to them first before making the decision to abort. (Harmon 15) They feel that the parents would choose not to abort their child if they spend time with their children. (Harmon 15) Doctors in general are taking this plea cautiously. (Harmon 15) Their take on this is that it would complicate the parents’ decision. (Harmon 15) Often times by the time the amniocentesis (the preferred test to diagnose Down’s syndrome in the womb) can be performed with accurate results, it is already the second trimester. Current laws concerning abortion prohibit late-term abortions. This means that there is only a small window of time in which parents can legally have an abortion. There is also the fear that if the parent has already decided to have an abortion, spending time with these families could enhance the feeling of trauma that they will already be feeling. (Harmon 15) The parents parading their children with Down’s syndrome about to hospitals want the doctors to revise how they tell parents about the diagnosis of Down’s syndrome. (Harmon 30) They do not want the doctors to say things like “I’m sorry” or “I have some bad news.” (Harmon 30) They do not feel that having a child with Down’s syndrome is either something to be sorry about, nor is it bad news. The doctors, for the most part, feel that they cannot just tell a parent the glossed-over version of the diagnosis. (Harmon 30) They can say anything that sounds cheery, but the reality still remains that the child, if born, would not be “normal.” (Harmon 30) There will be many complications in this child’s life. (Harmon 29) There is the possibility that they will never be able to even live on their own, which brings up the question of what to do should they outlive the parent. (Harmon 29) There are just so many negative aspects that the doctors feel that they need to present to the parents so they can make their decision with the information that they need. (Harmon 30)

So what drives the parents of these children with Down’s syndrome to visit hospitals to beg doctors to look at things their way? (Harmon 3) Many parents feel that if there are fewer children born with Down’s Syndrome, that there will be less funding and fewer programs to help those with the syndrome that are living. (Harmon 19) Some parents acknowledge a selfish motive in this—that they want their child to have every opportunity. Some say that their desire is not so much political to them; it is just about “faces disappearing.” (Harmon 17 18) Some feel that if there were fewer children born with Down’s syndrome, that the remaining ones would be “unwelcome.” (Harmon 25) There is also the idea that if broader prenatal testing were to be performed, fewer Down’s syndrome babies would be born…if any. (Harmon 3) This, they say, would lead to a world in which there would be no genetic differences. (Harmon 7) What would happen to diversity, they ask. (Harmon 7)

Even if no one were ever again born with Down’s syndrome, if all the pregnancies were terminated, would this mean that there would be no more funding? Just because there would be no children born with Down’s syndrome would not mean that no one would want to be able to solve this problem. Does anyone truly want to end a pregnancy? No one wants the news that their child will not function normally, that it will have mild to moderate mental retardation. Though there is no proof to back the idea, it would seem common sense that even if every pregnancy with a Down’s syndrome child were aborted, there would still be research for the cure of it. The fact that it exists and causes so many abortions would likely have scientists searching for a cure. These parents who are so ardent in their crusade to disallow prenatal testing for all expectant mothers have been just as eager and determined to fight for the rights of their children who are already in this world. (Harmon 9) Many have taken time away from that work to throw themselves into the work of trying to ensure that these children are born. (Harmon 11) Their children are already allowed in the public schools where they receive education and help. (Harmon 14) These programs would not be discontinued so long as these parents fight. While many of these women claim to champion a woman’s right to have an abortion if they so choose, they contradict this. (Harmon 16) They would rather women younger than thirty-five not know of their child’s diagnosis, since they may choose to have an abortion. This is more selfish of them than one woman’s statement that she wanted every opportunity for her child. (Harmon 18) That they would be willing for a woman to unknowingly have a child that she is not ready for, just so that they can feel better about the future of their own child, is a most abhorrent idea. They would sacrifice another family’s well-being for their own. How can these women honestly say that they champion a woman’s right to have an abortion? They defend their right to have their child, but trample another woman’s right to know and abort a child that she has not the means of supporting properly.

Would a child with Down’s syndrome be more unwelcome if there were no more children born with the syndrome? I think it would change little. If we truly examine ourselves, we must admit that there is a sense of discomfort when we are around these people. We may say that we do not think differently, but we do. We are not sure what to do, or what to make of them. This is part of human nature to be wary of those that we view as “different” from ourselves. We may not wish them ill-will, but we still do not know how to act. No amount of children born, or not born will alter this about ourselves. The cure would be to spend time with them, so we can be more comfortable with the idea. But not all of us have that opportunity. Instead, we muddle through life uncertain of how to respond to these individuals. I would not say that they are unwelcome, but they do make people uncomfortable. This is not the child’s fault, but the inability of human beings to interact comfortably with differences. There will always be diversity in humans, whether it is skin colour, religion, race, or mental capabilities. The difference when it comes to a person with mental disabilities comes when the parent will be ill-equipped to deal with the difficulties that life with a child like this will present. In the case of any disability, the parent may not be able to handle the emotional, financial, or social ramifications of having such a child. (Harmon 19) That is not the parent’s fault! They did not ask for such a burden, all they wanted was a child. We may not be able to tell what sort of child we will produce, but when there is an opportunity to know what they will be signing up for by continuing a pregnancy, such as with Down’s syndrome, we cannot fault the parent for terminating the pregnancy.

Fortunately, there have been some steps taken to help alleviate the problems faced when a parent discovers that they have a child with Down’s syndrome. Through recent legislation, there will be current information provided to these prospective parents. (Allot 11) Most important, I believe is the list provided of families who are willing to adopt children with Down’s syndrome. (Allot 12) I am not in favour of eliminating these children; as I said, they are precious souls. I understand that some families are simply not able to take care of these children. This offers a wonderful alternative to ending the pregnancy, which would cause heart-rending trauma to the mother; they can instead carry the pregnancy to its full term and then give it to a family that is equipped to handle the special needs that this child will present.

Born or not, a baby with Down’s syndrome will have an effect on the family. I know of a man who wanted to become a scientist so that he could try to cure Down’s syndrome and keep it from ever happening. He was influenced by his mother’s decision to end her pregnancy once it was discovered that the daughter she carried had Down’s syndrome. I have personally watched the effects of this woman’s decision. I respect her decision. I don’t know how she could have managed to care for this child when she already had two children with many problems that still plague her, even though they are well into their adult lives. There is no way that this woman could have maintained her sanity if she had bourne that child. It would also be an awful environment for that child. She must work hard to keep herself afloat financially, and therefore would not be present to care for the child. The daughter would also be exposed to hateful reactions from an already existing daughter. She could not have provided for the child in her position, and I fully support her decision to end the pregnancy.

There are issues with this decision that do not affect just people with Down’s syndrome. In discussing my topic for this paper with my brother he brought up another issue related with this. My brother has Aspergers Syndrome, which is a form of autism. He frequents many forums where there are many others with Aspergers. There is a fear expressed in these forums that if abortion in cases of Down’s syndrome, will there not also be abortion of babies with Autism or Aspergers, supposing there were a test that could detect such things in utero. There is a major difference that I think should be pointed out, lest others fall into such a way of sliding along this slippery slope. People with Aspergers, are highly functional. Many may go through life successfully, succeeding in their careers, personal life. There is no similarity between them and those with Down’s syndrome except the word syndrome. While those with higher levels of Autism may be under the same category of Down’s syndrome in the sense that they may never be able to function independently, despite their usual high intelligence. But can we assume that just because there is a high instance of abortion with Down’s syndrome pregnancies, does not mean that the same would occur with Autism or Aspergers. This is an awful slippery slope fallacy. You cannot judge the two in comparison with each other. They both have different arguments and situations.

For myself, I could not have an abortion, though I respect and will defend the ability of all other women to do so if that is what their conscience dictates. I believe that all women should be able to have the right to have their baby tested in utero to determine whether they have any serious handicaps. This is what I would want. If a woman does not want to have these tests done then she should not be required to. It is each individual woman’s right to decide what happens to her child. If we take away that right, where is our freedom? Every woman ought to be informed of both sides of a diagnosis. In the case of Down’s syndrome, I would not rule out a discussion with a family that has a child with Down’s syndrome, especially if the parent was uncertain about how Down’s syndrome would affect their life and what would be demanded of them in the situation. Saying this, however, I must say that this must be the woman’s own choice. If she has already decided to have an abortion, then that is her right and option. Even when making that decision, I believe a woman must be fully informed of both the benefits and problems that will result. A woman must be informed that yes, the pregnancy will be terminated, solving the current problem, but there will be possible long-term consequences to the mother’s mental health. Abortion must not be seen as a cure-all situation. As with anything in life, there will be pros and cons to every decision. I would also say that the women that are opposing the tests being offered to younger women have every right to do so. They must be allowed to express themselves if our society can function freely. I also think that they are to be honoured for their decision to raise children that others would not be able to care for. They should be praised for their strength, but also counseled to understand that others may not have their strength of will or the ability that they have. Just because they have been able to raise these children does not mean that everyone has the strength or ability to do so. They must not force their decisions on others who are not capable. This would be doing a disservice to both the parent and the child, who already has things they must conquer. There must be an air of tolerance if our country is to survive. We must not condemn those who think differently than we do. If we do this, who is to say that some day we won’t be on the other end of things. We must hold fast to our own principles and let others be. We can control ourselves, but not the actions of others. Shouldn’t we then concentrate on our faults and try to fix them than on other people’s faults? So now let me ask, is a world without Down’s syndrome a blessing or a curse? That is up to you to decide.

Works Cited

Harmon, Amy “Prenatal Test Puts Down Syndrome in Hard Focus” New York Times 9 May 2007.

Web. 26 March 2009

Allot, Daniel “The Trig Palin Effect.” The Washington Times 12 October 2008

26 March 2009