Not really in a happy mood...

So Grandma Mary is dying. I really really would love to be out in Arizona right now to be with her before she passes and to be with Grandpa. I love them both a lot and really want to be with them. Logically of course I can't, because I am in school and am now officially a poor college student. Mother is going out, but I don't see really why she should. I don't know that she really has that great of a love of her father. I mean for goodness sake she and the rest of her siblings except Uncle Steve sided against him in the divorce trial! I'm sure she thinks he's awful and had an affair with Grandma Mary, although Grandpa told me otherwise. I feel like I wouldn't be able to go even if I had the ability, just because mother will be there. Like she really cares...Maybe I am being a bit harsh, but its how I'm feeling right now. I have such respect and love for Grandma Mary. She had such a hard life, she raised her children on her own and had her husbands die on her. I hate to know that Grandpa will have to bury Grandma Mary. I fear he won't do well after she is gone, that she gave him such purpose in life and made him feel fulfilled. He took such good care of her, they were so sweet together. I will really miss Grandma Mary when she leaves...