Sunday, December 21, 2008

My Holiday Plans...

So I'm feeling really down in the dumps right now. My best friend, Boo Boo, or to the rest of you, Stephanie Mach, texted me last night to tell me that her dad died. He was fairly young, and the last time I saw him, full of life. He was pretty unique, but also pretty awesome. I liked him ever since I met him around 10 years ago. He always liked me too. The last time I saw him, he was very insistent that I was part of their family. I really felt that way too. He had a heart attack and died pretty much instantly. Boo Boo's younger brother was the one who found him. I still can't believe that he's gone. I'm going to be leaving Christmas evening to catch a flight down there. Boo Boo is the sister that I feel I never had. She and I are best friends, I'm closer to her than any other female. I had such a hard time when she told me. I just wanted to run and hold her and be with her and help her. I hated the distance that we're at. I wish I could have just had it like the old days where she was only a fifteen minute car trip away. Her mom is pretty much broken down with grief it sounds like. This was completely unexpected. I still am having a hard time accepting this is true. This was a guy that to me seemed like a big teddy bear. I had no idea, unlike Boo Boo's other friends, that he could be the least bit frightening. He was telling me stuff that he'd done to intimidate her other friends, and I looked at him like a foreign person. It had never entered my head that he could intimidate. I guess I should have assumed. I mean he was a big guy with a big bushy gray beard. He loved guns. He was a gun fanatic. I just never got it that he could be intimidating. So I looked at him and said how weird that was, since he never had seemed like that to me. He told me that he did that intentionally. He had no reason to try to scare me off. He said he had watched me with Boo Boo and was not concerned about me. He saw that we were good together. He knew that I wasn't in it to take advantage of Steph, like her other "friends." He told me how I was part of the family. I felt so wonderful hearing that. I wish that I had been able to come back during the summer like he wanted me to and go shooting with him. He was going to let me shoot his gorgeous sniper rifle, Martyr Maker. I wish I had been able to. Looking back it seems kinda odd to me some of the things that he said. He told me that when he died he wanted me to have one of his guns. It seemed just such a random out of the blue thing to say. It makes me almost wonder if he sort of knew that he would be going soon. I just don't know. I'm so glad I'll be able to be with them for this. I know Boo Boo is going to need me. I'm going to need her too. I haven't been this upset over a death in quite awhile. I'm hoping I'll be able to see whichever of you I can this Christmas. I feel kinda bad ditching on Christmas, but I know that I need to go to West Virginia.

1 comment:

CrouchingOwl said...

Hope we can see you still. We heard about this already. I know it really surprised me how much it shook me when my grandfather in law died. Emotions surprise you and its hard to tell just how much people mean to you. Hope you feel better soon.